The greatest invention ever? You’re not going to say the wheel, are you? That’s so stone-age, and time has rolled a long way since then.

The 2000-Year-Old Man didn’t have to hesitate: “Liquid Prell” was his answer, but even that is no longer for sale.

Just as impressive as Liquid Prell was the signal invention of the fashion industry. No, not the bikini; no, not the plunge neckline. Neither of those, because they didn’t require a new, synthetic fabric. No, the great invention of those days was the Lycra miniskirt. If I have to explain why, you’re just not educable. Sorry.

But none of those can compare with a wonder brought to the world in 1775, the S-Bend. Once Alexander Cummings added this feature to to Sir John Harington‘s flush toilet, described in 1596, we had most of the elements of a modern toilet, and life smelled much sweeter.

It’s easy to forget our origins and the practices of centuries ago; at the time, things which would disgust us today  seemed only natural and unchanging to those who considered themselves civilized.

The Talmud discusses toilets in connection with prayer: Jewish tradition acknowledges the miracle of our physical nature and explores how far we should be from the sights and smells of human waste when we engage in prayer. According to Rashi, in Talmud times human waste was generally left on the surface of a field (Berachot 23a, s.v. בית הכסא קבוק). When Mar Zutra acknowledges the value of a convenient privy (Talmud Berachot 8a), Rashi notes that ancient Babylon was rather waterlogged and digging a sewage pit was difficult, so privies were placed far away in the fields.

Those early medieval times seem disgusting and benighted, but even the splendid palace of Versailles, in the time of the Sun King, had no toilets but a smell more pungent than any other palace in Europe.

The convenience of our modern conveniences is something to celebrate, and it gives new meaning to Shakespeare’s famous phrase, “For this relief much thanks” (Hamlet I.1.10)