My favorite digital Rabbi, Rabbi Jason, just wrote in the Huffington Post about the abbreviation in Jewish mourning customs. Instead of  spending seven days of “Shiva,” the first period of mourning, some people spend less–three days, or none at all. Everybody wants a discount!

Like anything in Jewish tradition, our mourning customs can seem onerous, but that doesn’t mean impossible or worthless, for the effort can be rewarding in many different ways.

Holding services is hard, and for many people the Shiva minyan–services in the house of mourning–are a rare opportunity to join a community of Jewish prayer. That’s why we made our book, Healing Shattered Hearts. All the prayers for the house of mourning are fully transliterated and explained, so someone who is not used to Jewish afternoon and evening services can find them meaningful.

Rabbi Jason talks about “digital” approaches to mourning. While it’s wonderful that people can use new technology to bring additional comfort to their grieving friends and family, surely this is one time when nothing–absolutely nothing–can replace what a true friend does: you go to the house, you sit for a while, you don’t worry about saying anything because there’s really nothing to say. Just be with your friend in a time of grief. Just be there.