The rabbi stood by the exit to greet all the congregants after the service. She was tired, for it was Rosh Hashanah, it was already after 2, and lunch was still a long way off. But she made the effort to say a word or two to everyone who stopped to speak.

Most of what she heard were complaints: the sanctuary was too cold or too hot, the sermon was too long, the choir’s tunes were stale or the choir’s tunes were newfangled. And most of these complaints were out of her hands.

Then came Mr. Smolovitz. “Rabbi,” he said, “you must be exhausted. I know I am. Once the sermon is over, there’s not a moment’s rest. It’s up, down, up, down, for all those Ark openings. I like to sit in my seat and take a snooze like a civilized human being. Can’t you do something about this.”

The rabbi didn’t know it, but there’s a solution to this problem. No longer do you have to answer Smolovitz with rabbinical excuses about the “choreography” (ha!) of Jewish prayer, as if Martha Graham would think that standing and sitting is dancing. Or are dancing.

The solution is Tush-Ups, and the idea is simple: it’s a remote-controlled hydraulic seat cushion that’s easily installed on an existing pew. When it’s time to rise, just press a button and every tush is gently (but firmly and quickly) eased up, so the whole congregation is standing (and you should excuse the next word in a family-oriented blog) erect.

Press again, and the congregation is seated. Or are seated. Whatever.

Smolovitz, you can shut up and sit down–or stand up, depending on the Tush-Ups position.

Tush-Ups: it’s an idea waiting to happen. Nu?